"When all your Desires are distilled . . you will cast only two votes: To love more . . and to be happy."       Hafiz

One of the biggest problems with change and personal development, is we have lost the idea of what it means to make a 'commitment." A commitment is like a contract between your mind, body and soul that forms an alignment in purpose, focus and desire. The body is consumed with needs and cravings, while the mind is preoccupied with desires and emotions. These qualities make-up our deepest "longings" - the ones that are compelling and move us towards things that we perceive will fulfill us. Beyond the "immediacy" and demanding nature of these longings - lies your soul. The soul, as your primary essence, is somewhat instinctual in nature. It is always striving for "atonement" - encouraging you to make decisions that will bring "peace of mind" in a way that is enduring. The soul . . . writes love letters and life celebrating messages from the depths of your being in an attempt to influence your mind and body - which are often swept up in physical distress brought on by attempting to maneuver emotional turbulence - to go along with it in a cooperate manner. The soul seeks peace and self-actualizing, the body seeks survival and physical comfort while the mind thrives on the drama of first creating problems . . . then solving them.

Commitment indicates action. When you make a commitment, you dedicate yourself to an idea that you believe will bring an expanded feeling of happiness and well-being. Commitment is fulfilled as "self-realization" when your intentions become your automatic "style" of functioning in the world. The fulfillment of your commitment to stop smoking, for example, manifests (actualizes) when you lose your desire to light a cigarette, not when you are struggling to control the behavior that is being provoked with an intense desire to smoke. When you make a commitment to something, it demonstrates an intention to walk through a door in which you will not be returning.

Commitments are formed through a deep desire to control our own lives. We form commitments that are designed to shape and experiment with personal boundaries. Personal boundaries give us firm guidelines for how we conduct ourselves, and what we allow or don't allow from others. In response to external limitations being placed on them by others, children struggle to set internal boundaries - which appears as resistance to being told what to do. This is a natural process through which we learn to assert our independence by establishing personal guidelines through an attempt to form cooperation with maternal and authority figures in our lives  whose approval, protection and support we need.

Moral codes are designed to set firm guidelines for individual behavior while protecting individuals and communities from unnecessary pain and suffering. However, when moral values become demands made on us by other and reinforced with threats designed to invoke fear, it provokes resistance as it invokes acquiescence. Our morality is designed as guideposts that serve as a powerful prescription to help insure we make ethical choices, consistently. By developing a strong moral code - we can begin to make conscious choices that not only serve our good, but the greater good as well.

When we command or make demands of others, it forms resistance and resentment. Persuasion, guidance and demonstrations of high morality are "user friendly" tools that can be used to lead an entire nation. We have prohibition against adultery, yet at least half of all married people engage in extra-marital affairs. We have laws against stealing, yet over 10 million thefts take place every year. Treated as children, we will naturally respond as children. We have to change our attitude and how we communicate and replace commandments and "hard fast rules" with a sense of personal commitment and integrity. To commit to something or someone, is to have a desire for, form an allegiance with and create  a code of conduct that acts with a sense of purpose through shear determination. To become determined in your life is to become impeccable in your values and relentless in your desire to find an appropriate means of expression. With dignity . . there is no compromise . . . only cooperation.

Linda Gadbois

In our society, we have latched on to the idea of affirmations as a replacement for deep personal commitment. Personally, I have never seen affirmations that actually produced change, let alone lasting change. Even affirmations that are said with emotional intensity, do not replicate reality - but rather some shallow version  that often demonstrates a lack of proficiency. Though they may be beneficial as a means of focusing the mind on an idea, or using them as a tool to redirect the mind when it wanders. Great artist, do not continuously tell themselves "I am a great artist, ideas flow to me in abundance." I don't even know what that means . . exactly.  Successful people do not repeatedly tell themselves "I am a powerful person, success comes to me easily." We create internal dialogue as an interaction that results from direct experience. We create "success" by engaging in acts of success - the benefits of which come through behavior. All behavior is derived from commitment. The secret to life - to becoming who you want and desire to be . . . does not come through a regimented process of repetitive non-sense. But rather through the ability to make a commitment to it, strategize a behavior that will create it, discipline yourself to perform it consistently with a sense of devotion. To create a deep desire for something, commit to it and align a sense of devotion with it - is to become a compelling force in your own life.

When you decide what you want . . . the next questions becomes "are you willing to do what it takes to get it?" Whatever it takes? "Will" creates the "means" not the other way around. We have to learn how to make good choices, not out of fear of being caught or punished, but because they most accurately reflect the kind of person you truly desire to be. This sacred aspect of your self - as the quiet voice inside - wants to be happy - to know love, feel vital, and create meaningful experiences of purpose -  you then "will" it into reality. To become an artist . . . I did not repeat silly affirmations that supported a concept of being an artist. I formed a deep commitment and daily discipline to engage fully in the creative act with the intention of producing a piece of art. I imagined it, formed a "behavioral strategy" to act it out, gathered necessary resources, and committed to doing it. As I did it, had the experience of it, I then further shaped and honed my approach. The internal dialogue was regarding the experience itself - not a form a personal commandment.

"We have not come here to take prisoners . . . but to surrender ever more deeply to freedom and joy."    Hafiz

To wake up to personal freedom and step outside of "voluntary confinement" - is to become a catalyst in your own evolution. To become successful, you must associate behavior that fulfills and expresses "success." Then imagine it, develop and preview it in your imaginations to create feelings of your self "as" successful. To be emotionally secure and confident - you must behave in a way that expresses confidence. You create an "experience" of your self as confident. To be the creator  . . . is to engage in the act of creating.

In order to "become" something you have to be able to imagine yourself "as" that. Form a perception of your self being that way, then step into it, try it on and act out the part. Embody it. Rehearse and act it out until you get it the way you want it, you feel the way you want to feel about your self - then repeat it until you build it into your muscle. Until it becomes habit. This attitude of experimentation and practice - require commitment and discipline. if you don't know how to act something out . . . what behavior would "be" or produce the desired result - find someone who is doing what you want to do, being how you want to be . . . and study them . . imitate them. This allows the perfect pathway for your personal style to emerge. Evaluate your performance as you go, and make any necessary adjustments.  Don't make the mistake of interpreting feedback as failure. I can't even tell you how many pictures I painted before I created one that I actually liked. If I had given up on the 15th one and started telling myself that I couldn't do it, I wasn't good enough . . . I wouldn't be an artist today. Decide, commit, form a strategy, practice and be determined to have what you want! You have to "make" life . . . go out and be it!

Linda Gadbois

Artistic feeling, or sensitivity, married with a quiet inward nature, is the most promising precondition for developing spiritual faculties. Artistic sensitivity cultivates the ability to penetrate through the surface of things and access their deepest secrets. It is only when we have learned to listen selflessly, and to be inwardly receptive, without any personal opinions or preferences demanding air-time, can the higher forces speak to us. The voices of the spiritual world will remain silent as long as we still defend our personal feelings and sense of righteousness against the opinions of others. We cultivate the ability to perceive in a state of innocence - where essence can reveal itself in it's purity and eloquence. Where we step outside the toxic lenses of memory and are able to truly encounter something for the first time. To "see" is to penetrate the surface of ordinary things and allow them to present themselves to us. We don't just see with our eyes but with our whole being. Like intuition - a full body sensation that serves as a basis for our unique interpretation of reality. Intuition and creativity are synonymous. To be intuitive, you must develop your creative ability to interpret life symbolically rather than literally. We must learn how to play and make-believe once again.

In order to become more sensuous, you must learn to use your senses, like rich colors on a palette to produce the desired effect as an emotional expression. To turn inward in a state of concentration and allow life to unfold within our quiet nature is to become receptive like a conduit through which energy can freely flow. To be open and playful, to allow ideas to dance before you and entertain you with new possibilities, is to step into the flow of the life force moving through you . . . as you. While in a state of flow, you lose all sense of your "self" and time ceases to exist. In a state of eternal bliss, free from self-limitations and opinions . . . expanding into a higher version . . . the result . . . we are caressed and teased by ecstasy. Nothing is more beautiful than the experience of freedom. Our beliefs, our self-doubt and self imposed limitations, while necessary for self-expression as a definition of our personality, confine and tame what is naturally wild and unpredictable. It's only desire, is freedom. Free to be, free to change . . flow and flux . . dance wildly across the stars . . . into the depths of your own existence, and know it for the first time. Who would you be, if you could be . . . anything, anyway and anyone you wanted? If you could make one change that would alter the course of your life right now . . . in this moment . . . what would it be? What is it that prevents you from making it? When you have a deep desire for something . . what it is that prevents you from "going for it?" What are your inhibitions? What thought, feeling or idea about yourself stops you? What story do you tell yourself that makes it okay not to try?

Feelings can be thought of as a "state-of-mind" - or an overall pervading mood. Our attitude is a direct reflection of our most dominant emotions that we embody on an habitual basis to color our life experiences. Your attitude determines your perspective and your approach. How you approach something determines how you "set it up" or how you organize information to paint a particular picture or tell a certain "type" of story. Your attitude is the common denominator - the glue - that creates continuity and consistency in your thoughts, interpretations and actions. State of mind, is comprised primarily of 3 constellations: patterns of physiology, focus and beliefs and language. Change any one of these, and it effects the others automatically. The mind, body and emotions are different aspects of the same thing and are a fully corresponding, cooperative organism. Create your state-of-mind intentionally. What mood do you want to walk through the day with? If your in a "bad" mood, make a decision . . then change it. Do something different with your body, change what your focused on, and create a different type of dialogue with yourself. Take control and quit being at the whims of your emotional addictions.

In order to more fully experience life, we must be able to engage in the full spectrum of emotions. When we close down one area, perhaps because it's too painful, it inhibits our ability to experience the entire range of emotions. We must be willing to have the bad with the good, to openly grieve, cry, scream . . as well as laugh, dance and feel deeply moved by the beauty of something. Quit censoring which emotions are okay and which ones are not allowed. In our society, with the New Age movement, we have made "negative emotions" undesirable and bad . . . therefore, if you are truly masterful, you only have positive emotions . . . I say "pay attention" this is clearly a lie. What does your experience tell you? To be truly masterful is to live in a state of total self-acceptance, good, bad or indifferent, while allowing a full range of experiences to move through you. Psychologically, the good and the bad, negative and positive are inter-dependent on each other, each is only possible in contrast too or relationship with the other. We must have a healthy outlet for expressing negative emotions as they arise. The greater challenge may be in learning to express negativity in an appropriate manner, or with the people in your life that provide a "safe space" for you to be "all of you" without fear of judgment, ridicule or rejection. People who don't express bad feelings, divert them into inappropriate and unrelated forms of behavior. They are prone to psychotic episodes and outbursts of irrational behavior that often shock us. If you repress negative emotions you inhibit your ability to fully experience and express positive ones. Quit beating yourself up . . . allow your humanness to surface, it is after all the most interesting and beautiful part of you. Embrace it, love it and most of all . . . give it a safe place to play and some crayons to color with.

The basic premise for creativity is a relaxed and receptive mind. Chill out . . don't be so serious all the time. Lighten up. Make up quirky, silly, stupid stories about things. See humor in something that normally pisses you off. Learn to laugh at yourself. Take an awful situation and reinterpret it from a different perspective and watch what happens. Change the outcome that you desire, and notice that the path for expression changes also. Change the "assumptions" that you are making in perceiving a situation, and notice that everything about it changes accordingly.

As an artist . . . I have to make a commitment to express feelings that often shame me, like shadows moving across the basement wall haunting me as I try to calm my mind and fall asleep, telling myself their not real. To give names to feelings - is like creating emotions as concepts - one clearly defies the other in a natural state of resistance. The biggest reason we fail to be creative is because it brings us face to face with our greatest fears and inhibitions. We feel weakened in their presence because they talk to us in our own voice. We agree with them and give in to their reasoning and "philosophy of failure". We become content to sit on the side lines at the prom - and watch others dance out of fear of being told no, or looking foolish. We resign our dreams and succumb to a dull ache that often lasts a lifetime. Once we fully realize that all of life . . all of it . . . is simply something we made up, a story we created in an attempt to explain, describe or justify it, in order to create a sense of our self in relationship with it . . . . it's helps us to challenge ourselves to create more interesting and empowering stories about things. If you don't like the experience your having . . . make up something new . . . and chose to change it. Make a commitment. If you ask, and your told "no" . . . notice that your position hasn't changed. The fact of the matter may be . . . it's not the "no" that terrifies you . . it's the possibility of "yes." To step into yes, takes courage and a sense of willingness. It requires something of you. Be willing to live fully, to hurt deeply, to love passionately, and to be human in all it's folly and glory. Use your faculties and your ability to use your imagination  . . and pretend . . . play with life . . have fun.

Go ahead . . Enjoy yourself!  . . and by all means, don't stay within the lines! Scribbling is the first step to learning how to draw! Drawing lays out the composition for your masterpiece! Its done as a process . . . . .  the hardest part  . . . is beginning!

Linda Gadbois

The significance of a "Model" (system of beliefs)

Time and time again I see Coaches and Consultants who offer their services almost like an elaborate goal setting session - or ongoing session - who walk-in and give people ready made advice or a pre-designed program that offers the solution to their current problem. Yet as many of you have experienced even if you get off to a good start in an attempt to implement the program - it usually doesn't take long for you to relapse, or for the program to fizzle. This is because you are in the situation you're in - your life is the way it is - because of the models you are working out of. You have to have a paradigm that supports and represents the desired change- the type of situation, circumstances or conditions your are striving for - or you will never be able to create or maintain it.

In order to create something different than what you have currently created - you have start with the model called your identity - then move out into your model of the world. You must redesign your beliefs your habitual emotions - repetitive attitude and behavioral patterns - how you "see" things in order to create a new vision. Referencing failure in an attempt to produce success does not work. You will simply turn that "goal" which on the surface represents success - into a perfect reflection of the model you reference and associate it with - which creates the state of mind - gives meaning (feeling quality) to your goal - out of which you will perform. An impoverished model will consistently produce poverty.

Goal-setting, as it is commonly called is more like designing dreams - it involves an elaborate, interactive system of beliefs to pull it off. The true essence of "modeling" is if you don't currently have a successful model to reference, to imitate - if you currently do not know how to do what you want to do - find someone who has, study them, create a model out of their strategy - use that model as a reference to associate with your current situation and use it for measuring, comparing and give it a similar meaning - which will create possible paths for success. 

We have to realize and appreciate the power of the spoken word - realize the importance of the language you use. How you talk about yourself, your feelings, your situation, your outlook, how you talk to others - the attitude out of which you communicate - not only perfectly expresses your "true models" but it literally calls forth that model into a living, observable, breathing reality. "It became flesh, and walked amongst us."

As human Beings we are gifted with the natural ability through the use of our mind to "create reality." We create out of our beliefs "about" things. These beliefs exist in relationship to each other and form belief systems. These systems perfectly support, justify and validate each other - producing a reality that can not only exist like it's own eco-system, but also attracts to it people of a like mind, who will interact appropriately to co-create that reality. It then appears so real to us, we use it as evidence to convince ourselves and others that it is real - true and factual. We then feel as though we are subject to our own creations - we do not perceive our selves as having any real control or power over our situation.

Models are templates, blueprints for creation - we create using them perfectly, consistently and repetitively forming patterns which become our "life story". We were not born into sin, God did not make a mistake, we are masters of creation, and perfectly create realities out of our beliefs. This is the incredible power of your mind.

In order to produce change in your life, in your relationships, in your circumstances, you MUST do the work it takes to re-design the person whose model is creating it - YOU! You cannot re-design the organization without first redesigning the people creating it. Any attempts to produce change that does not involve identity, beliefs and paradigms will not result in success. If you are able to briefly encounter a form of success - perhaps because someone else, such as a consultant has enough control or frequency to create out of their model - you will not be able to maintain it.

The power of Leadership within an organization is someone who has a superior model to operate out of (one that references success as a means of representing the goals and identity of the organization) and can communicate that model in such a way that it literally "teaches" that model to the people who will be in charge of actually producing it. They do so by creating a compelling future and inspire people towards it. In order to actually do this they must have their model so intact that they consistently act out of it at all times and use it as a filter for decision making and monitoring the progress or direction of the organizational flow. This is the only way that their influence, repetitive suggestion and emotional expression consistently move people in a common direction without creating contradiction.

Linda Gadbois, Ph.D.(c) CHT, RMT

In all of the Care-giving Professions, detachment is the key word! It is essential that the care-giver work at the Transpersonal level - rather than the personal level. When caring becomes entangled with emotional involvement in helping others it always results in "burn-out." Detachment doesn't mean "non-caring" as some may misperceive it to mean - it means not jumping in to save the drowning person when you yourself could be drowned by the same undertow.

Sympathy for others not only supports and co-creates their reality, but it also causes "soul loss" in the sense that it deprives them of their own experiences. In order to exercise "power over" them, we take power from them. Whenever we feel the need to control others we unconsciously look to take power from them. This reduces them and deepens the reality of whatever type of experience they are creating. This is easy to understand if you look at it from an experiential perspective rather than trying to make sense of it or create a logical process where the reality is an emotional experience. When Care Givers identify and relate to their clients, they live and begin experiencing the same emotions. These emotions become a kind of filter that is used to give neutral situations meaning. The Care Giver begins embodying the same vibratory frequencies as the client and begins co-creating with the client, rather than pulling the client up to a higher vibratory frequency thereby altering their "state" and co-creating a different type of experience. When a Care-Giver identifies with multiple clients - say 6-8 per day, they begin taking on emotions that can cause a spiraling motion that pulls them down into deep states of depression. This is directly reflected in the astounding statistic that reports that "Psychotherapist" leads the professional arena in "suicides" every year.

I was trained by the YMCA as a "Life-Guard" when I was a teenager and the number one rule of saving lives was  - never jump in the water with them . . . . they will pull you down and drown you in an attempt to save them self. You always - throw, pull and tow. Jumping in the water was only done as a last resort. In energy work - water means the emotional plane of existence. Jumping into the stormy waters of Caring can suck a person down into deep states of darkness - so deep in fact that death becomes preferable to living. 

In all my training and education in psychology, Spiritual and Healing practices this is one of the least covered topics. In my personal experiences I have witnessed a large percentage of people make grave errors in this area. The other area that is crucial to understand for true effectiveness (or lack of) in any form of therapeutic application is the idea of "transference" and projection. Traditionally it is thought of as therapist transferring to client - however it actually goes both ways. The client can in fact "counter transfer" emotions and perceptions onto the therapist who if not trained properly, may not realize what's happening. Therapists, just like other people who are in close or intimate relationships where you become invested in the well-being of another - can become "ill" from "identification." We identify with the person we seek to help and take on the same energy, same feelings and thoughts and therefore begin attracting and expressing the same type of experiences. These experiences eventually take on physical symptoms.

When we gain a true understanding of the "Healing process" - whether physical, mental or emotional - first and above all, we have to realize that we are not responsible for anyone else's healing or personal experiences. We cannot, under any circumstances take personal responsibility for someone else's recovery. There is no such thing as "changing" someone else. It takes Mastery to change yourself. All healing is self healing. You cannot think for another person or feel for another person - therefore you cannot change their reality. Only they can do that. All we can do is interact with them, influence them in a way that causes them to begin asking different questions, looking for different things, forming different perspectives and begin interpreting things in a way that causes them to feel different.

In a similar fashion - if two people come together in a relationship - one has a positive outlook on life - the other a noticeably more negative - and as they become emotionally involved with each other - both peoples energy or "vibration" - will begin shifting and they will achieve and maintain an altered vibration as they begin resonating with each other. Because negative energy creates the feelings of being drained, of exhausting you - negativity is usually the result of feeling powerless, it looks to take power as a way of gaining it - the positive person will have tendency to wear down much faster than the negative person  who will seem to become more energized as they "take" or pull energy from the positive person. This creates a situation that is often described as being "pulled down" by another - being "sick and tired" of the other and "losing their identity" (feeling different) to the relationship.

To remain detached is to honor another's right to their own experiences. You allow them to create whatever reality they are choosing. If someone comes to us - asking for help and with a true desire to change - the only way we can help is through modeling the change. We become the living example and establish the emotional energy that will influence them by "rubbing off" on them and pulling them up to a higher vibratory frequency. After we create the state of mind that "is" the change - we interact with them and create dialogue from that perspective. Once this is achieved, they will form different thoughts, different ways of looking at things and will begin attracting, and being attracted to a different type of story. Just as in energy healing - the practitioner creates and maintains a reality of the client existing in total perfection then using that vibration to "pull them up" - to influence them to a higher "resonating" vibration which will co-create "perfection." In mental and emotional healing it is done the same way. You don't take on their perspective and emotions- instead you embody the change they are desiring - establish and hold that frequency and influence them with it - causing them to come up to a higher state of awareness. This is typically referred to as modeling. We represent the change as a way of producing it. We don't have to figure anything out, solve any mysteries or certainly label or diagnose anyone (as if we could) - all we have to do is master our state of mind and become aware of our vibratory frequencies and  . . . . radiate that. Increase it and project it.

Linda Gadbois