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Client/Therapist Work:
1. Does your therapist or change agent spend a lot of time
gathering information about what has gone wrong in the past? While
this may be significant to a certain extent, what went wrong in the past is
not real valuable for determining solutions for creating the future. What
leads to solutions is to explore and find out how you or other people solve
similar problems. An effective practitioner will spend much more time
gathering information about your positive goals and your personal abilities
and resources.
2. Are you moving towards your goal or outcome? Some goals
may be achieved in one session, while others may take more time. Even with
goals that take more time, you should be experiencing some movement in the
desired direction within at least the first 2 to 3 sessions. If you aren't
experiencing change, you may want to consider working with another therapist
or change agent. Even if you are working with a skilled person, sometimes it
is simply an inappropriate match, something may be missing, or your desired
outcome may lie outside their area of expertise. Being able to measure
movement towards your goal is the single most important criteria to use in
evaluating your process.
3. Does your therapist or change agent give you labels telling you
what's wrong with you, rather than spending time helping you to explore new
ways of getting what you want? This is a sign that this person
is not a good investment for you. Diagnostic labels are not solutions,
provide little direction for your process, and serve little value if any.
Focusing you on what's wrong, or what needs fixed, will not get you where
you want to be.
4. Make a distinction between feeling good or feeling understood by
the therapist, and whether you are getting the changes you want in your
life. Ideally you can have both in a counselor. However, some warm
and wonderful people do not have the skills necessary to help you get the
results you want. If you have a therapist that you really like and think is
wonderful, but your not getting the results you'd like, we suggest you use
someone else.
5. Check to see if your Counselor, Therapist or change agent has
used their own techniques in their own life and produced positive results.
You should interview the therapist as well to insure that it's a good fit.
Often therapist use learned techniques that may not produce the desired or
claimed change. In order to facilitate your process, they have to know what
the process is and what it will produce as a natural effect. If you are
using a hypnosis practitioner, inquire as to how they have used hypnosis in
their own life and what kind of results they experienced.
Coaches/Mentors:
1. Make sure that you feel comfortable with your Coach and can relate to
them.
2. Check their specific area of expertise and what qualifies them for
that position.
3. Check any education or specialty certification.
4. Do they walk their talk? How have they used these techniques in their
own life, and how did it improve it or bring about the desired change or
outcome?
5. Be clear on what it is that you are seeking help with - is it personal
skills, such as organization, planning, positive thinking or perhaps
developing and aspect of yourself - to be more creative, flexible,
demonstrate confidence. Or is it professionally oriented to be coached on
business expertise of some sort. Or perhaps it's help with relationships and
communication skills. Be clear on what it is exactly that you are hoping to
be able to do, acquire, learn or what improvement you desire when making
your selection.
6. Make sure that the Coaches/Mentors expertise in the desired area
models and demonstrates the "level" of competence that you are looking for.
For example: I am a professional artist, if I sought a coach to help with my
artistry - I would require the assistance of someone more accomplished in
the area I am seeking help for than I am. Someone who can coach my current
level of expertise to the next higher level of competence.
Classes/Seminars/Workshops
Here are some recommendation for selecting the training that will offer
you the desired benefits:
1. Get the personal Experience of the Trainer. This can
happen through attending a free preview, or through video or audiotape.
Trust your personal experience more than brochure quotes, endorsements,
certificates, or degrees.
2. Staying Power. Does the Trainer have a good track record
for repeating seminars over a period of time? Those who have both personal
integrity and ability (rather than just flash and charisma) can get results
that prove to be satisfying over a period of time.
3. Information vs. Demonstrations. In a good training
you'll get live demonstrations as well as interactive processes of the
methods being taught, not just descriptions of the methods or the results
achieved by others using the methods. Some boast about results but don't
actually teach the methods for getting them. Some classes are more about
exploring information rather than learning techniques. If this is the case
make sure that the teacher has a working knowledge or personal experience of
the information being taught.
4. Exercises. After demonstrating, does the trainer provide
you with carefully designed exercises that allow you to immediately practice
new skills? Observation and practice are what will make new skills apart of
you. We only learn what we can demonstrate. You must be able to demonstrate
what you are learning.
5. Evidence. Do you learn how to know whether what you've
learned is working? A good trainer will teach you nonverbal signs to watch
and listen for. You should have a clear idea of what evidence of the process
working will look like, sound like or feel like. Ask yourself - what is it
that will let me know that this is working?
6. Personal Integrity. Does the trainer act in ways
that are congruent with what's being taught? Here are some qualities to look
for in good trainers:
a. An effective trainer will presuppose that anyone can
learn - it's more a matter of finding the preferred learning style of each
participant. Good trainers will provide a variety of teaching modalities
such as visuals, written outlines or notes, as well as verbal techniques
that explain things from various perspectives. If a trainer acts like a "guru" who wants to razzle and dazzle
you, be cautious. Participants usually learn far less in this type of
training (even though sometimes they are more impressed).
b. A good trainer will respect and honor questions and
objections from participants without feeling threatened or intimidated.
c. A good trainer will follow-thru on any promises she makes to
participants.
d. Effective Trainers can easily admit mistakes and will welcome
suggestions to improve the training.
7. Skill. This may be somewhat difficult to detect
before going into the training, but it is very important. Some things to
check: can the trainer demonstrate getting results? Do you observe nonverbal
shifts in the demonstration client? Do you notice your own skill improving,
or does the trainer just say it is, or says repeatedly "your unconscious is
getting it," or "You may feel confused now, but just give it a month or two
and you'll notice a difference." Insist on observable results.
8. Sense of Humor. The single best aid to learning
is a sense of humor - the kind that is infectious, laughing with others or
at the human condition, not at anyone's expense. If you find a trainer that
has this along with other qualities we have listed here, you have found
someone you are likely to be pleased with and will probably learn the skills
you took the training for.
Some of these seminar recommendations are condensed from an article
"A Consumers Guide to Good Training." by NLP Comprehensive.
Private Training
1. Selecting. Make sure the training is specifically what will
produce the desired outcome, produce specific results, or will train you on the specific skills you'd
like to develop.
2. Competence of Trainer. Make sure that your trainer has
expertise not only in the area of training but also in their ability to
train. Just because they have knowledge doesn't mean they are good at
teaching.
3. Can the trainer demonstrate what they are teaching. Not as a
skill or specific technique, have they used these in their own life to
produce the results they are claiming it produces. All true teaching stems
from self-realization. Have they realized this in their own experience?
4. Do you feel comfortable and safe with your trainer? Is there a
feeling of trust? Can you relate to them, do you feel they relate to you?
5. Is the trainer committed to finding what works best for you? Or
are they set on their method and are not flexible in their application of
techniques. Are they able to experiment with various ways of doing things?
6. Mentoring. Do you want to "be" like the trainer. It's not just
what technique is being used that's important, it's the "way about" the
trainer. Their personal style. With true mentoring, you study and model
(imitate) the way the person is being, their attitude, what they are
thinking about, how they are feeling, etc. All performance stems from
"state of Mind."
Healing Energy
Work
1. Be Cautious of a Practitioner who claims to be overly "sensitive" to the very
thing they work with, ie., energy, emotions, spirit attachments, etc. A
true master at their craft knows how to handle their medium and is
proficient and skilled at it.
2. Make sure you feel comfortable with the person and the process
they use.
3. Therapists/Healers - should describe their technique and the
process they will use, and give you an idea of how it will work and what to
expect. They should ask permission to perform - to make sure that they have
your permission and you are "willing." Any resistance on your part with
hinder the process and the results.
4. They should be able to answer most questions about their Art.
They welcome questions and can explain things from a scientific, logical or
rational perspective as well as an intuitive or spiritual perspective.
5. Be cautious of Energy Workers or Healers who give you
intuitive information about "what's wrong with you" or what they are sensing
in your energy field. Energy work does not diagnose,
treat, or try to "notice" information that's in the energy field as a means
of healing.
6. Ask the practitioner what their process is as well as yours. If
they indicate any kind of diagnosis or recommendations, or advice, check
into their expertise, education and qualifications for doing so.
7. Find out what to expect as a result of the treatment or session.
How will you know if it worked? What can you expect as a general rule? What
will you use for evidence or to monitor progress and effectiveness?
8. What are the qualifications of the practitioner? Education?
Expertise? Who did they Mentor with? How long have they been doing it?
9. Fee Structure. Do they seem confident, or wishy-washy? Anyone
who offers a good valuable service charges for it. If they undercut standard
"professional" fees, it's usually a sign of a non-professional. Price is
always a reflection of expertise, education and value.
10. Don't ever seek out "intuitive information" or "Psychic Readings"
from a street psychic - or from a non-professional. This experience can
be destructive and extremely harmful. This is where the old idea of "curses,"
casting spells
and voodoo came from. Suggestion may be stronger than you realize.
11. Be Cautious of anyone who combines the process of healing with
intuitive readings. They are not compatible. They are not the same
thing, nor do they involve the same type of process. Good healers, or
intuitive counselors will help you develop the ability to discern your own
information, simply by facilitating the process, not by telling you what
your stuff's about. Only you know that. |
